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}{y|3ri|)
January 18th, 2004, 10:51 AM
Words Women Use

Study this and know it!

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

LA_MERC_MadMAX
January 18th, 2004, 11:15 AM
So true, so true...

Omega_Prime
January 18th, 2004, 02:19 PM
YEP VERY TRUE.

|Noob
January 18th, 2004, 03:57 PM
Someone has finally figured out women? Way to go Hybrid I had faith all along.:D

LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]
January 18th, 2004, 04:28 PM
OK I'm a girl lady women whatever you want to call me.. hehe and I even have to agree with all those!!! lolol:rolleyes:

LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]
January 18th, 2004, 04:30 PM
hmmm maybe I should send BS over this way to read and study this he could use this help! lol

still wuv ya Jerry..lol

blondie
January 18th, 2004, 05:18 PM
That is so not true
soooooooooo Whatever JK

LA_MERC_YellowDog
January 18th, 2004, 05:18 PM
IN the event you encounter above metioned phrases in any combination,
or buy themselves, no matter the situation, My advice to all my brothers out there is,
and I qoute in the imortal words of MONTY PYTHON

>>>>>RUN AWAY>>>>RUN AWAY>>>>

Merdawk
January 18th, 2004, 09:17 PM
0.0

LA_MERC_Sabre
January 18th, 2004, 09:39 PM
I was once a young, dumb and nieve boy...i got married...now i'm an older, dumb and nieve man....but at least i've learned one thing in my 30 years (7 in marriage and another 4 living with her)....women are always, and will forever be a mystery to mankind and the women are always, always, always, always right! This is a very important lesson to newly married guys out there!!!!!!

REMEMBER TO ADMIT DEFEAT, CAUSE YOU WILL NEVER WIN THE ARGUMENT!!!!

LA_MERC_M@lACHi
January 18th, 2004, 10:15 PM
Sabre, How right you are! :-)

LA_MERC_Drax
January 19th, 2004, 01:53 AM
Agree with alot of that, just the key thing is the ring, when you put a ring on a woman's finger, it pretty much equals that you are her slave, loser of every arguement, the person always at fault and maybe the ruiner of the relationship.

My tip for dealing with women......1 night stands and staying single!

But then again, somehow* i have made alot of women's bad list, and they all come up with the same name, i mean the exact same name, no matter if i were with them back home in baton rouge or here at tech, i'm always butthole, but in different words.

LA_MERC_JESTER
January 19th, 2004, 06:00 AM
we need to all print this off for quick reference

LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]
January 19th, 2004, 06:44 AM
Oh lord I'm getting a kick out of this!!! You guys CAN"T live with out us ladys!! But one the other hand I CAN NOT live without my husband so I guess it goes both ways....

Ya'll crack me up...

CajunTech
January 19th, 2004, 07:09 AM
I must be one of those married guys that has it easy..

LA_MERC_goose
January 19th, 2004, 07:15 AM
Cajun - If you've got it easy, fill me in on it man! M@lachi can vouch for me on this - MY WIFE IS THAT LIST UP, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT AND INSIDE OUT! Where was this list 10 years ago? J/J.
wife :slp goose

LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]
January 19th, 2004, 07:15 AM
LOL CajunTech, my husband has it easy also... He's a lucky guy! I do everything for him.

LA_MERC_Sabre
January 19th, 2004, 07:16 AM
Originally posted by CajunTech
I must be one of those married guys that has it easy..

i bow to thee! for mankind hath been redeemed!

CajunTech
January 19th, 2004, 07:43 AM
Put your headphones/speakers at max volume and when you hear that annoying female voice behind you just shake your head yes a couple of times and say "Ok". just make sure it isn't your daughter's voice or you'll walk into the biggest mess possible when ya get off puter (even bigger when your wife comes home and see the mess and the lil one says Daddy said I could).

Always tell them you'll clean, cook, etc.. in a little while. Always remember to keep repeating this "In a little while" line every couple of minutes in case you aren't paying attention when she asks if you started yet. When you finally get up the strength to do the work it will already have been done. Never use this trick more than once a day or you will be banned from bed for a couple of nights (or use it twice a day and then stay up all night playing CS).

When asked to cook/clean, always burn, drop, or add something to give good flavor. You will not be asked to cook/clean very often afterwards. Remember for clothes red + white = pink (make sure you keep your clothes out so she'll wash them correctly on the second batch) and for cooking hotdogs have been known to explode if left in the microwave too long.

Always be nice to her friends. Her friends will set you free. Whenever you want to go somewhere or do something with your friends remember to call/message her friends about the latest sales in town. Casually mention to her that the wife is also looking at the sale and then watch in glee (unless it costs you a lot of $$$) as the two depart on an all day shopping adventure and you now have the day to yourself.

Above all else remember to take everything she says literally.. The best example I can think of is movies. I love action/sci-fi, she loves romance (yes I have to watch one every now and then.. blah). When I mention going to the movies and watching an action flick..
If she says "Fine, That's Fine, or Go Ahead" I haul her out of there like a bat out of hell before she can say anything else. Then after the movie or the following day when a complaint is filed I just remeber and repeat exactly what she said.


I hate being bored at work... That was more typing then I'll probably do all day here. Thank God my wife doesn't read the forums hehe...

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