LA_MERC_LaTech
January 1st, 2004, 05:06 PM
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (....and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down..." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, aah...fly Southwest?)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
And my personal favorite: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (....and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down..." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, aah...fly Southwest?)
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
And my personal favorite: On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)