A BRAND NEW COMPLETE THE STORY THREAD

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

A BRAND NEW COMPLETE THE STORY THREAD...

in case your new here, this is how it goes, i start a story with 2 lines and then someone else picks it up with 2 more lines and so on and such...please keep it clean or it will be deleted, and dont slam anyone, keep it all in good fun...so here goes...

One day on Jacks way to the market, he stumbled across a piece of trash. This was no ordinary piece trash though, it was a....

[IamTylerDurden]

<b>tall blond piece of trash. He picked her up out of the gutter, brushed her off, and threw her over his...</b>

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Left knee and proceeded to "educate" her with his right hand about the errors of her ways. Just then along came....

[Noxious]

...The Terminator and Winnie the Pooh, skipping along. They asked Jack "What are you doing?" and Jack replied, ........

[Omega_Prime]

"Im Studying To become a jedi like my father before me" but jack was sceerd because winnie the poo replied......

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

..."fear, uncertainty, anger I sense in you. the dark side you will turn." Jack forgot that Winnie did the voice for yoda in the films. the blonde trashy thing on Jacks lap raised her head and....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

replied, "Oh, like I haven't heard that before!" The blonde was Princess Leia. She then...

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

witnessed two kids pushing grocery carts with stolen merchandise going down the street, blocking traffic, which enraged an irrate driver who, rolled down the window and yelled,

[Omega_Prime]

"hey come on dont bs me im a police officer" Leia was confused by this but she could have swore that the police officer was really.....

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

Adrian Monk, the defective detective. She thought this becaue he was aranging the stolen goods in order of size. just then, a large shadow was cast on the ground by....

[Omega_Prime]

by none other than the cookie monster, he was really upset because the items that were stolen where his cookies. During this time Jack reapears and noticed that.......

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

the Cookie Monster's fly was down. "Hey man," he said "you've got...

[[Cajun] BigEasy]

to get to a doctor. I haven't seen someone with such a bad case of.....

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

(hahaha...I'm gonna avoid the obvious)athlete's foot in years!!! He handed him a piece of paper and said, "Here's my doctor's name. There is also a good ointment called"......

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

Atomic Balm it'll make all the itch go away, it's also good for...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Cleaning Cookie Jars." With that, Cookie Monster rushed off to visit a doctor.
All of a sudden...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

His foot fell off, he said "what the f....

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

foot bone's not attached to the leg bone, the leg bones not attached to the hip bone" he got carried away in the catchy song before he realized...

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

that the piece of paper Jack had given him was actually the Golden Ticket from a Wonka Bar. He hurried home to show Grandpa, but on the way there he...

[Crazy White Boy]

fell and broke his leg, and dropped the ticket. Then some big old stinky guy by the name of...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

Ted Kennedy picked up the ticket and tried to hitch a ride to the Willy Wonka Factory, on his journey he hitched a ride with...

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

Hillary Clinton who then took him back to Senate where the Democrats had just lost...

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

the annuall House Tournament of Tiddly Winks. When the liberals saw that they had a backdoor pass to the Wonka Chocolate factory....

[Omega_Prime]

they meet up with The autobots who were in a rush to help save......

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

the Oompa Loompas from the evil curse of the Everlasting Gobstopper. Little did they know that Dr. Evil had already planned to..

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

rid the world of diabetics by blowing up the chocolate factory, but in haste Dr. Evil....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Dropped the explosives and killed all the Democrats instead. This lead to...

[LA_MERC_Dirge]

mass celebrations throughout the world as mankind entered a 1000 year peaceful reign. Meanwhile, the cookie Monster...

[[FOC]*Hard Drive*]

decided to duct tape his foot back on and chase after his Golden Ticket. he.....

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

looked furiously for those damn Democrats but to no avail, so he decide to meet up with Bert & Ernie to ...

[JUNKY]

prepare to "bring tha noize" to the f00 that stole his ticket -- they needed a teacher that knew how to "bring tha noize" so they recruited Public Enemy's Flava Flav who....

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Was killed when a bolt of lightening struck his gold tooth causing the hands on that stupid clock around his neck to fly off and stab him in the heart. No mo flava. Just then, along came....

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

big jim beam who had a bottle of whiskey and was drunk as skunk, which caused him to stumble over the body of the Public enemy, which caused him to...

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

say OMFG what that hell was that? He look behind him to see what it was he stumbled over and realized that it....

[Cypher]

was the PERFECT time to bust out and start doing the Hokey Pokey. Then, right in the middle of sticking his left hand in, he suddenly remembered that he left his ...

[Ling Xiaoyu]

wallet in the pouch of a kangaroo at the zoo

[Omega_Prime]

which then stabbed him in his left eye for fondling her, he then grabbed his eye and with a loud scream said........

[Disorder]

OMG H4X!!!! Then a mime walked up and started counting on his fingers. he was counting...

[Reign]

1....2.....3.....4.....etc. then he tried to go rollerblade but was stopped by the cops, who said...

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

have you seen Pinky and the Brain come by here? they are on another attemp of world domination by putting blond trashy women in the gutters that will eventually....

[IamTylerDurden]

lead to a mass outbreak of crotch influenza, you know the flu that makes your...

[[FOC]*Hard Drive*]

ummmm....you kno that special area, the one you don't wanna talk about much, anyways, if there was an outbreak, there could be.....

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

Suddenly, Jack wakes up realizing that this has been some really strange dream that has occurred from drinking too much Johnny Walker Black the night before. He rubs his eyes and gets up out of bed and notices that...

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

someone has moved his socks. He remembers placing them in the chair the night before. Just as he makes his way out of bed to run to the bathroom, he notices that they are now .....

[Lt.Dan]

alive, and the socks are trying to kill me, because

[Cypher]

being worn by his cat, Mr. Fluffles. This kitty had gotten into his "special" brownies, and now it was wearing his socks and a propeller hat and singing that old classic hymn, ...

[bighead]

can't touch this, then Mr. Fluffles turned around and saw bruno, the killer attack dog behind him and

[Maximus]

"I'm a Cucumber". This confused him, so he ate...

[Cypher]

and drank and was merry. Then his mother unexpectedly came home early from Bingo night at the old folks' center, and made him...

[JUNKY]

dance the limbo in the kitchen while wearing just a garbage sack, while she baked a cake and cookies -- the cake was....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

in the shape of the Cookie Monster. "Man, what a weird dream! I must have been...

[Lt.Dan]

thinking that I was a nazi again, luckily I am on medication, but it sometimes makes me

[Noxious]

wear laterhosen and and attempt to jump off random roofs because........

[LA_MERC_Dirge]

when I go to a free Johnnie Walker Scotch tasting, I'm running late for work and feel like I should...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

break out into a song! So, he donned his best singing clothes and...

[[Cajun] BigEasy]

shuffled off to Buffalo, but realized that Buffalo is ..........

[Noxious]

Not a Very Tasty Creature, especially when........

[Omega_Prime]

The Power Rangers are the ones doing the cooking, but never fear because look in the sky, its a bird, no its a plane, wait thats got to be...........

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

Cartman propelling through the air with the fumes from his farts, oh no...

[Cypher]

Then suddenly, Cartman ran out of gas (apparently he didn't eat enough pie) and the fatass plummetted toward earth at a ridiculous speed. Luckily, something was below to break his fall -- a great big ...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

pile of poo with corn nibblets left by the Jolly Green Giant. Cartman started counting his blessing when...

[Omega_Prime]

the poweder puff girls arrived to help save cartman from the great one known to all by the name of....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Bill Clinton! The girls combined their might with Cartman's size to...

[Cypher]

protect themselves from Bill Clinton's inappropriate sexual advances. They finally succeeded when they were able to ...

[[Cajun] BigEasy]

form the fattest woman in the world that surely no one walking the earth was MAN enough to get with, but Bill Clinton took off his draws.....

[Cypher]

and everyone realized that the only reasonable means of escape was to RUN. Cartman ate one of the PowderPuff girls and regained his mighty superpower of flatulence. The surviving PowderPuff girls held on as Cartman farted away into the sunset. Clinton was left alone, pants around his ankles, sadly crying, "...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

"I knew i shouldn't have worn these thongs!!!", he then proceeded to pull up his pants and proceed to his offices in Spanish Harlem. On his way to the offices he encountered...

[Omega_Prime]

The big bad wolf who was just getting back from grandma's house, but there was something terribly wrong the wolf noticed the he had a great big.....

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

fat red nose like Rudolph, so he decided to go insearch of a more favorable meal;...

[SnAkEbItE]

Just then a house fell from the sky killing him, a little girl named Dorthy steped out and said.......

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Son of a gun!! This isn't Kansas either. That's the last time I use that travel agent. Just then she saw the big bad wolf coming down the street. She was startled as he appraoched. What big....

[Omega_Prime]

baseballs you have, the wolf replied "yes they are big but not as big as...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

your big floppy feet, you know what they say about girls with big feet...

[[Cajun] BigEasy]

they wear big shoes and an insatiable desire for.......

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

"No. What?" She asked.:confused:

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

wolves with big teeth. Hav eyou met Bill Clinton?

[Omega_Prime]

no she replied but i hear hes really good with his...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

sax, he can really BLOW!!! Off to Grandma's house I go. On the way to Grandma's house...

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

she came across three little pigs. The odd thing was the pigs weren't building houses, they were on the street corner selling...

[SnAkEbItE]

Pork rinds and RC Cola...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

It turns out, there used to be four pigs, but one of them had a bad accident involving a....

[JUNKY]

....Industrial Stregnth DR Chipper Shredder ---it appears little pig #4 had this weird fettish of.....

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

link sausage into the shredder and watching it get chopped up...till one day when he was putting in some Jimmy Dean Sausages in, he got caught and was....

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

struggling to pull away from the shredder when all of a sudden ...

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Pig #3 came up behind him and whacked him accross his curky little pig tail causing #4 to fall into the grinder.

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

and so lives the tale of the 4 little pigs....Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Dorothy was busy ...

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

Practicing Blue Bells of Scottland on her Trombone, when suddenly she heard...

[Cypher]

a noise on the roof. She thought it resembled the sounds that eight deer and a fat guy would make if they ever got up on a roof, but when she went outside and looked, it turned out to be...

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

barney and 8 fat raccoons on a UFO or maybe it was just a saucer, when all of a sudden barney called out...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

and started in a chorus of "I love u, u love me...", then BAM...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

the sniper in the book depository at the end of the block, as well as atleast one other sniper, shot Barney in the head...thus ending that horrible song. At the same time in a different place...

[Tracker]

there was this blue dog that needed shot, but first.....

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

A large black bus pulled up in front of a local night club. Out of the bus stepped four guys carrying guitars and drums sticks. The hundred or people out front went absolutley crazy!!! It was....

[JUNKY]

..Brett Michaels, Bobby Dall, C.C. DeVille, and Rikki Rockett, otherwise known in the 80's a the band Poison, but little did any of the onlookers know that each memebr of the band was also a deep cover CIA agent, their mission was....

[Noxious]

to put and end to the horror that is 80's Hairmetal, and all of a sudden the band Deftones popped out and shouted.......

[Maximus]

SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT!!! It sounded so melodious, that Poison developed their own rendition of...

[MadOne]

Walk this way...it was the next greatest All American Hit. Until the CIA recalled it's unit to ....

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

help thwart the evil that is Britney and her evil minions of doom, also know as....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

The Decepticons. Meanwhile, behind the facade of this innocent looking bookstore...

[MadOne]

Was an all out terrorist activty center, Headed up by the evil Dr....

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

Frankenstein. His first mission was to ...

[Cypher]

find a cure for male pattern baldness, once and for all. But first, he had to go to school to get a degree in...

[IamTylerDurden]

Hairyculture.... The race was on to be the first guy grow...

[-FA- Th|3f]

... a shrubary on his head,but first they had to call Bugs Bunney to learn his secrets...

[LA_MERC_RiverRat]

but Bugs Bunny wasnt home, so he opted to call Elmer Fudd who then told him that he must get rid of that awful ...

[IamTylerDurden]

smell that is eaking out of Jay's bung hole!.. Quick hand me that can of...

[Cypher]

green silly string so I can...

[IamTylerDurden]

give Jay the worst enema of his life! Have you seen what this stuff can do when you hold a....

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

can of this in your anal aperture and squeeze the trigger? It feels like...

[Cypher]

diarrhea in reverse. Suddenly, our hero had to take an emergency trip to ...

[JUNKY]

Rio -- where he played in this soccer field with a water tower overlooking it, and all of the buildings had tin roofs, and the only song you could hear kept looping in a 15 second clip, He thought to himself "By God I think.....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

I've played this map before!" Suddenly, gun shots rang out like a bell...he grabbed his nine, all he heard was shells...

[-=C.O.P.S=-KOrruptED]

and a funky beat {sounds a bit like Queen's "Pressure"}, he started to reminisce about his younger days as a Vanilla Ice wannabe, then...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

(laughs) he realizes that crappy rap songs from the 90's (and "rock" songs frmo the 70's) are considered lame now. Having decided this, he...

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

decided to go see if Jack had every made it to the market to pick a six pack of....

[Cypher]

Jolt cola. Sure, nobody actually drinks the stuff, but it can be used for...

[JUNKY]

...."degreasing engines and killing brain cells" said Cypher. Neo wondered why he had shut down all of the monitors that he was viewing the matrix on, but "Oh well, I'm making 20 million for each sequel, and I intend to spend the money on......

[Maximus]

...ACTING LESSONS! Whatever money is left though, will go towards, women's panties and...

[Cypher]

butter. Because, let's be honest -- you can't have one without the other -- just like...

[Noxious]

wondering when this post may end or if it ever is gunna get to a certain point, but...........

[LA_MERC_Onji]

they lived happily ever after, the end.

:) (lol im sure this is getting deleted)

[LA_MERC_Mercy]

and then out of nowhere, there came a sound like a big...

[Noxious]

wiffle bat smashing into Big Brothers forehead, then.......