LA_MERC_BS
July 7th, 2009, 10:17 AM
Just got back from Cozumel Mexico on a diving trip. This was my first time out of the country, and it was eventful. The plane ride was fine, but the problems came after landing in Cozumel. When we got off the plane and preceded to customs (Mexican Customs pfft). I made it through customs and was bombarded by local carnies. There was a mob of Mexicans there trying to sell me all kinds of crap.
Finally got in the cab and made our escape. I say escape because the cab driver was all over the damn road. I later found out, this is the preferred driving method of all Mexicans. Got to the hotel and everything was going great. The next morning, we got on the dive boat and met our dive masters for the week. Really great guys. They loved me, but only because they were somehow under the impression that I was a retired professional motorcycle racer. Apparently the last thing you want to mention to the locals is that your a cop in America. So John, our Dive master, made up all these fake job titles for us.
The diving was great all week, and I ended up making buddies with the dive masters who filled me in on all the scams on the island. One thing I learned very quickly, nothing is illegal in Mexico. Every gift shop has a pharmacy, and every time I walked into a gift shop, the shop owner always walked me over to the steroid isle. Which was very interesting. They also had antibiotics, penicillin, Viagra, z packs. I wanted to bring back some of the antibiotics, but I was scared I would end up on locked up abroad.
Everyone on the island is 5 foot tall and smiling. When the wind stops blowing its 200 degrees there. The breakfast buffet is the same as lunch and dinner. The only difference is orange juice. The money exchange changes according to the cruise ship. The exchange rate was 15 pesos to 1 US dollar when the boats were gone. When the boats pulled up, 10 to 1. Mexican police carry uzi's and a frown.
I also noticed that the news is censored. I watched the local news, couldn't understand a damn thing they were saying, but apparently the drug lord / government war is a lot worse than I had been seeing on the news in the U.S. It also seems that cracking a man in the face with the butt of an assault rifle, is how Mexican Police tell someone they are under arrest. Zip tie his hands behind his back, blind fold him and throw him in the bed of a ford truck is transporting procedure for those persons being butt stroked.
I later found out that if a Mexican woman walks up to you and your old lady and asks if we want private party, that means this nice woman would like to do something sexual in nature to you and your wife. I of course thought she wanted to sell me some tour through the Mayan ruins and declined.
I did pretty good there except for one of our cab rides. This cab was a 20 year old sentra. Seats were all kinds of nasty. No a/c. We got in the cab, I figured I would joke around with the old guy about his cab. I said " I dig your cab man, you've got this whole Sanford and Son thing going on, I like it". Now see I didn't think he would catch on to my little joke, WRONG! The guy goes nuts! Wants to put us out. Kept telling me he was a Mayan descendant. He was quick to forgive after I used a little word play, and promised a good tip for my mistake lol.
Here are some photos of the trip
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=95506400&albumId=2643919
All in all it was a great trip and we'll probably go back in the winter.
Finally got in the cab and made our escape. I say escape because the cab driver was all over the damn road. I later found out, this is the preferred driving method of all Mexicans. Got to the hotel and everything was going great. The next morning, we got on the dive boat and met our dive masters for the week. Really great guys. They loved me, but only because they were somehow under the impression that I was a retired professional motorcycle racer. Apparently the last thing you want to mention to the locals is that your a cop in America. So John, our Dive master, made up all these fake job titles for us.
The diving was great all week, and I ended up making buddies with the dive masters who filled me in on all the scams on the island. One thing I learned very quickly, nothing is illegal in Mexico. Every gift shop has a pharmacy, and every time I walked into a gift shop, the shop owner always walked me over to the steroid isle. Which was very interesting. They also had antibiotics, penicillin, Viagra, z packs. I wanted to bring back some of the antibiotics, but I was scared I would end up on locked up abroad.
Everyone on the island is 5 foot tall and smiling. When the wind stops blowing its 200 degrees there. The breakfast buffet is the same as lunch and dinner. The only difference is orange juice. The money exchange changes according to the cruise ship. The exchange rate was 15 pesos to 1 US dollar when the boats were gone. When the boats pulled up, 10 to 1. Mexican police carry uzi's and a frown.
I also noticed that the news is censored. I watched the local news, couldn't understand a damn thing they were saying, but apparently the drug lord / government war is a lot worse than I had been seeing on the news in the U.S. It also seems that cracking a man in the face with the butt of an assault rifle, is how Mexican Police tell someone they are under arrest. Zip tie his hands behind his back, blind fold him and throw him in the bed of a ford truck is transporting procedure for those persons being butt stroked.
I later found out that if a Mexican woman walks up to you and your old lady and asks if we want private party, that means this nice woman would like to do something sexual in nature to you and your wife. I of course thought she wanted to sell me some tour through the Mayan ruins and declined.
I did pretty good there except for one of our cab rides. This cab was a 20 year old sentra. Seats were all kinds of nasty. No a/c. We got in the cab, I figured I would joke around with the old guy about his cab. I said " I dig your cab man, you've got this whole Sanford and Son thing going on, I like it". Now see I didn't think he would catch on to my little joke, WRONG! The guy goes nuts! Wants to put us out. Kept telling me he was a Mayan descendant. He was quick to forgive after I used a little word play, and promised a good tip for my mistake lol.
Here are some photos of the trip
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=95506400&albumId=2643919
All in all it was a great trip and we'll probably go back in the winter.