40yr old HS coach marries 16yr old student

[LA_MERC_Captain_Obvious]

I'm faily positive I would kill this guy if that were my daughter.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3305652&page=1&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines&GMA=true

[waltersw15]

In looking at the photo, they almost look related.

There is no way I would have ever signed those forms, and I have to agree, that that coach was going to have some problems with me.

Definitely a sad story for the girl, but the parents gave in too easily.

[the noxious]

they guy just looks crazy.
if that were my daughter, i'd shot him, no questions asked.

[LA_MERC_Shadow]

They should have refused the consent and then hire someone to video inappropriate behavior. Then have his a$$ thrown in jail. I would've just shown up at the guys house and tell him to leave my daughter alone or I'd kill him.

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

Oh HELL NO!!!! I seen it on TV last night and was like what in the HELL is the mom and dad thinking letting her marry him. I would have never signed them and I would have got him on rape charges or something. Thats just SICK. he is a very very sick man that needs HELP...


Oh I can go on and on and on so I need to get out of here............

[Ab1dab1]

That is down right creepy. I'd expect to see a made for tv movie on that kind of crazy stuff.

What would possess the parents to sign the consent forms?

I only wish they had better CBT tools for kids for home schooling. At some point we could do away with the threat of pedaphiles in the school systems.

Abi

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Death would have come quickly for him. Fecking loser bag.

[Daedelus]

it sort of strange to think. it probably her first crush and so i can see how alot of people when they are that young have a crush on the high school teachers. I know when i was senior i had biggest crush on my art teacher but then again i think she was only 28 and pretty fine looking to a young 18 y/o boy. now on the other hand. he should know better and not foster that kind of relationship. i can see being nice to a good or favorite student and maybe even the giving a ride home if you lived in say a rural community but when he saw she was wanting more he should have set her straight then.
Now i can see how people might have a reaction to the 24 year age diffrence, but is to much of a diffrence in say a 50 y/o marring say an 80 y/o it 30 years diffrence but dosent seem to matter right, or say an anna nichole marring her late old husband people seem to think it ok for a old guy to marry a 20 something year old young bimbo. so i just dont know where we as a society set or limits on ages. something we find disgusting because some one is under 18 other contry's/culture mind fine as a norm. just my two cents worth..

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

I think that this asshat should be thrown in jail for abusing his position of power over the girl. He should have all of his liscensing revoked and listed as a sexual predator. THere is NO excuse for what happened here. I need to raise my kids and keep an eye on their teachers because they are predatory. Where in the hell is his life. His friends his own age. He is a DOUCHE BAG.

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

All I know is everytime I hear of something like this it makes me see RED!!!

the difference is she is a baby!! Yes I said Baby. He is an older man, to old for a 16 year old. Say you have a 22 year old woman married a 52year old man... 30 year different BUT the difference is she is a grown woman. That don't mean I would like it because even a 30 year differnce to me is nasty but she is a grown woman and no one can tell her what to do because she is an adult! This girl "GIRL" is 16 a baby!!!!!! I say hang this man by his pee pee!!!!!!!


ok I got to stop my BP is going up DL not feeling to good.... :mad::work3:madd:soapbox:banghead

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

I think its not so much to do with age difference, but maturity. Like D/L said, she is a 16 year old girl with no "Real World" Experience yet. Now when shes 21, and this dude is 45, if she still wants to marry him.. thats her decision, but any man with morals is going know in their gut, that this is wrong.

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Not one of you pointed out that this started when she was 14 and he was 38. He took an immediate interest in her when she was a freshman.

The problem is that regarless of how she feels (or thinks shes feels) now, I guarantee she isn't the one who started this. That shows alot about where this guys head is. Let's set aside the social tabboos related to thier individual ages for a sec and examine some other aspects of this relationship.

Her: She's 16 and knows nothign about life and relationships. How long before she tires of this guy (like all teenagers tire of relationships) and finds she has no one left in her life that cares about her. What in the hell could they possibly have in common?

Him: Showed interest in her at 14? Ok, 14 isn't exactly a baby as DL puts it but she's young. I dunno what she looked like at 14 but I'm betting NOT a woman. That POTENTIALLY (I capitalize potentially because I need more info to be sure) puts him the category of a preferential molester. That means he has his narrow field of what he wants and when the victim grows out of that narrow field, they loose interest and start looking for the next one. Priests who molest (in general) tend to fall into this category targeting boys in the "alter boy" age bracket (10-12).

My point to this rambling is sooner or later one of them is going to have a change of heart and it is going to be devestating to the girl either way.

The parents...well, they are idiots. You want her away from him that bad. Friggin move to another state. I DEFY you to give me a reason that trumps the wellfare of your daughter in this situation.

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

CFH, your insight is awesome (I know this is your occupation). As a parent, as many of us are, I would have moved.....period. I think it opens the door for the girl to run away but that is the one thing that as a parent you can control..that is moving.

That dude is a freak and I'm sure he has a list of wrongdoings that we do not know about. That girl has no idea what she got herself into.

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

Well she mite not be a baby as in infant but a baby as in the immature way. Now there are "some" girls that are mature at the age 16 but none really are ready for the real world they mite say they are but there not. A 14/16 is in no way on the same maturity level as at 30 something 40 year old man.
Errr I just hope that when my girl gets this age that she can make better judgment then this (I'm not in any way saying this is the girls fault) but come to me when some sickO is after her.

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

This chart may provide some additional insight as to why he wasn't arrested.

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/qanda/blageofconsentchart.htm

At 16 she was old enough to consent to the act of sex but not considered an adult for the purposes of getting married thus the need for written permission from the parents. That still doesn't excuse the "roll over and play dead" attitude of the parents.

Ultimately, with the laws they way they are set up, if she REALLY wanted to be with this guy should would....it's that simple. As a parent though you make it a LIVING HELL for both of them.

Transfer her to a diffrent school
Get a restraining order against him (I know it says they tried)
No car
Have her cited for curfew if she's out too late
Move to another state..accross country if need be
Finally...DONT SIGN THE DAMN PAPERS!!

Tell them both, if this REALLY is true love, then wait 2 years. You'll have the rest of your lives together so 2 years is nothing. Lay down strict rules for the relationship as if it was a normal high school dating realtionship. ( I don't actually advocate the last one because it's a cop out but if youre too stubborn to move it's at least a stall tactic).

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

It's just a very scary thing to have to think about. There's lots of things in the world today that scares me. My kids are just babies right now and I'm so scared for them to grow up. We live in a small town where drugs and sex is the only thing for the kids to do around here. We have 14 year old girls having babies around here. But I guess thats everywhere you go now a days.


CFH, you being a cop, if the parents came to you wanting something done what would you have done to try and stop this guy? Being that the age was 16 to consent the act of sex. And what else could the parents have done "legally" to stop this guy? I was just wondering because I would not have stopped going to the cops with that. You know because if you move out of state with your child to keep them away from each other he's just going to find some other little girl. That is what would bother me knowing that after I get my child out of all that he's just going to find some other under age girl. I know you deal with things like this everyday I was just wondering what you ,as a cop, would have done different. And what you think the parents should have done Legally different.

[Ab1dab1]

DL, the age for consent to sex is different in from state to state. In fact you still have statutory rape in some states where an 18 year old has consentual sex with a minor. Does it get enforced? Usually not unless it is a rape situation. But the lines are clear and dry when it is a 40yr old adult and a minor.

CA laws are a bit more liberal than LA. In LA he'd be under the jail and lucky to have a real trial. I think you are in the same boat in MS though as I believe 16 is the age for consent. This may be partially related to the "old maid" mindset. I've got some family up in the Picayune area and if they aren't married and popped out a kid by the time they are 20 they are looked down upon. I personally think all of that "old maid" stuff is a bunch of crap. What is crazy is that you go to North MS or to the coast and it is totally different. I guess it all boils back down to pockets of society in different towns. Picayune was a big farming area a couple of decades ago, so I'm guessing that is where the mentality comes from.

Now I know why I hated sociology so much in college. ;P

Abi

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

Yeah I know it's different in every state. I respect CFH a lot and was wondering how he would have handled it if he were in that state and if there was anything else those parents could have done to get him for that. I think it should be that, anyone that much older then the minor sould be put in jail no if's and's or but's about it. Even if he wasn't the one to make the first move he still had a choice to "do" or "not to do". Now a days nothing really surprises me.

Remeber the Woman Teacher (can't remember her name) that went to jail for a few years because she did the same thing to a boy and had a baby by him? When she got out she couldn't go anywhere near him but as soon as that was lifted they got married and are still married to this day. NOW I just don't understaind why they can put her in jail but not him. It was the same thing but the teacher was a woman.




It's just sad to me ya know.

[Ab1dab1]

I'm sure it goes back to the whole double-standard for women in the work place. I know it is a said thing to say, but I see it every day even in the IT world.

When I think of grade school teachers, most of the teachers I can remember were women. High school was a little different because I went to an all boys catholic school, so the ratio was more like 70% men 30% women teachers. But that was likely to deal with all the testosterone. Our sister high school was all girl and their teachers were the revers 80% female to 20% male teachers.

It really all comes down to a jury though and how well the liars...err...lawyers spin the tale to the jury.

Abi

[LA_MERC_Spark]

I saw this article on fark the other day. Parents are complete asshats, and their is NO way that shiot would happen on my watch...

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Thank you for kind words DL :)

I pretty much spelled it out what I would have done. We would have had a man to man about how, regardless of what the law says about her being able to consent, she's still a minor and under my guardianship therefore he stays away.

As for her...I'm sure she's a complete ***** about the whole thing and has to be with him. She pretty much gets the same speech he got. In fact, I'd probably do it to both at the same time with the intent of scaring/intimidating both of them. If that doesnt work, I'd find a boarding school several states away and kill myself for 2 years in overtime to pay for it.

I'd be REALLY interested to see what her home life was like before this guy. Girls who fall for guys THAT much older aren't normally looking for a boyfriend...they are looking for a daddy. The article paints a picture of this happy-go-lucky kid who was preyed upon by this teacher.

Ya, some of that I'm sure is true but most victims are vulnerable long before they become victims. Think of the old Wild Kingdom shows of lions hunting in Africa. They circle the heard of zebras looking for young ones on the outskirts of the herd. They pick the ones who are injured or unprotected for whatever reason. It's an easy kill.

I'm sure teacher man picked up on some vulnerability and explioted it. Parents work all the time....Daddy doesn't love me....Could even be something completely benign as just LISTENING to her. Successful pedophiles know how to slip into whatever void thier potential victim has and fill it.

"Work smarter...not harder."