Lets do a story time skit.

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

I'll start it off. Here we go. Someone add the next sentence and so on and so on

"I woke up this morning and turned on the news"...............

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

"and there was a mug-shot of Johncst"....

[LA_MERC_Spark]

"He was naked holding a cat".......

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

I quickly discarded the horrible sight.....................

[LA_MERC_Spark]

because seeing johnCST naked was quite a fright!

[LA_MERC_johncst]

,but not as quit as a fright as andy wetzny and spark spooning together on a boat in the gulf

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

They all got sunburns on there....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

It seems they fell asleep while smuggling cigars and powercords.

[LA_MERC_Spark]

A sight that would surely cause quite a fright... If it were to ever actually happen....

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

However it was not to be so to Andy's dismay, for a moment there he thought he might not be the only one that was....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

having fun, but apparently, he wasn't. Meanwhile, on the other side of town

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

BS was shagging a Clown...

[LA_MERC_Spark]

not just any clown either.... a scary little clown... more like a scarecrow... his name was Drax and he liked to.....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

get in fight with police. Little did he know

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

That the police were male prostitutes that liked....

[SweetGirL]

...Drax's very small....

[LA_MERC_Dragonlady[s]]

foot but when...

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

They saw the Size of his...

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

sausage poboy they totally.....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

wanted a bite.

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

or two....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....but what they ended up doing is, hogging and jogging after giving a good flogging to.........

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

A Large wart which was shaped like a...

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

head a cauliflower

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Seeping a bloody discharge...

[LA_MERC_Spark]

and smelled a lot like...

[LA_MERC_johncst]

spam

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Low and behold it was actually a nub [r] Drax was sponsoring....

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Who he'd met at a NAMBLA Convention in San Francisco.....

[LA_MERC_Spark]

they had become really good friends after a long night of....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

ping pong, but no one realized that................

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Drax's Nambla buddy was wearing no pants....

[LA_MERC_Sniper]

and he was humming a tune that reminded me of The Pirates O Penzance

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

But meanwhile on the other side of town...

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

Nooch was sniffing fire hydrants when...

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

he saw Baco's mom working the corner flagging down....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

the maytag repair man becuase she wanted.................................

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Somebody to trim her....

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

.....Bush..... But the repair man quickly informed her that hes dose not do....

[SweetGirL]

lawncare or landscaping, BUT he's an expert at...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Picking his nose, small engine repair and.....

[SweetGirL]

if she'll cook him dinner and give him a place to lay his head for the night, he'll pull out the big guns and ......

[LA_MERC_Sniper]

shoot the neighbors cat that has been

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

meowing up a storm druing the full moon.

[Rollout]

But Andy and G were busy.....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

...having power cord issues again while....

[LA_MERC_Sniper]

........one had a shorter cord then the other. but whick one was it............

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....the only way to be sure was to.......

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Ask someone who'd seen both, but Rollout was too busy watching......

[LA_MERC_sLingbLade]

midget porn on his brand new...

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Porn master 3000 big screen tv, so the job of measuring the power cords fell on....

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

the only person qualified: Diesel. So Mike started to measure Andy, when all of a sudden...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

He realized his ruler didn't have.....

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

the instructions written on it so he used....

[waltersw15]

...the hand over hand method. He came to the conclusion that Andy's...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Head is above his arse, contradicting popular belief...

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

but Andy didn't seem to mind as he was.............................

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

passed out in a ditch. Meanwhile, in orbit high above the Earth...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Bacowrath plans the Earth's demise by......

[waltersw15]

flatulating many, many times to increase the levels of...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Welfare grubbing, gun toting and Gub'net Cheese eating...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

...Midwestern repubs. Meanwhile back at the ranch.....

[Big_ch33se]

Thee rook and the rest of the bleeding heart democrat smacktards held a meeting of their own...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

']Thee rook and the rest of the bleeding heart democrat smacktards held a meeting of their own...

There is always that guy.


....assessing the incidence of moldy cheese in......

[waltersw15]

between Rook's toes. It was determined that it was necessary to...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

fashion that cheese into bite size nuggets and...

[LA_MERC_Spark]

feed them to feral cats in an attempt to...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

make a Ninja Cat army. After watching a TV show titled "

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

Toddler Aged Chromosome Challeneged Samurai Feline's..............The pilot for the show was......................

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

BS, and he flew....

[waltersw15]

the Toddler Aged Chromosome Challeneged Samurai Feline's straight into P.I.T.A headquarters, where they...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

ate cheetos and drank dr. pepper while plotting the future destruction of....

[LA_MERC_Spark]

Dirge's arse because the fumes it produces are...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

a highly concentrated form of energy used by the Toddler Aged Chromosome Challeneged Samurai Feline's arch nemesis....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Rectal Probe Man. Thankfully, Rectal Probe Man has a major weakness...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

his body is rejecting his own Rectum thus leaving him....

[waltersw15]

looking for a rectal transplant. He was able to find a compatible match with...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Bacowrath... which in turn has Bacowrath desperately inspecting nearly every.....

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Prison from here to California for a substitute Rectum... after all he was not looking forward to loosing his......

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

precious Starfish to the vile....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

true and only best friend, palmeta and her 5 sisters, which by the way also....................

[LA_MERC_Spark]

happen to have the worlds largest supply of spare rectums in addition to...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

prepare sandwich's at the local Subway, which has led to...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

a strange melding of subs and rectums.

[LA_MERC_Spark]

which makes "shiot on a shingle" conjure up a wholly different image. In addition to their sandwich shop and rectum hording duties the sisters also operated a...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Asian Tongue-bath house, where the services of a(n)...

[waltersw15]

Dragon Lady were required to clean the Dragon. The Dragon was so pleased with his bath that he later...

[LA_MERC_johncst]

hit the mud to get another bath, but what he go was?

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Just a lot of mud in his Rectum... thus making him perfect donor for....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Baco. Baco would not have this, he......

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

immediately called for a colon flush, but...

[waltersw15]

could not find a hose large enough to...

[Big_ch33se]

...run through his esaphagus, so he called t4rg3t to ask him....

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

if he had a hose pipe and what he should do.

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

mean while on the other Side of the Universe,,, things were not at all what they seemed... it appears that all this talk of Colin flushing, Sphincter transplanting, and general weirdness has torn a hole in the....

[waltersw15]

fabric of the Milky Way galaxy, causing aliens from a far away galaxy to abduct Yellowdog and...

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

use their new anal probe to find out if...............

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

he had corn for lunch. Suddenly Baco appeared in full pimp regalia with his rectal probe/pimp cane and Nooch's mom on a leash when....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

She turned around and bit off his.....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

shirt to expose his manly chest with 3 bristling hairs. Baco then threw Nooch's mom at the aliens causing.......

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....her to turn green, grow to ungodly size, and growl in a pissed off nature, but all this did was......

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

cause Yellowdog's "starfish" to tighten snaping the alien anal probe starting a chain reaction ending in....

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

...a sh!tstorm of fury, that fueled a.....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

intergalactic incident between the Analtonians and the Sphinctericans which ended in an impaction in the galactic colon of the universe. Baco then flew his starship, The Colonoscopy, into the fray of the galactic colon when suddenly.......

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

he encountered some ravenous dingleberries that were...

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

eating through the hull of the ship! Then, without warning, the galactic colon had a gas spazm hurling Baco and The Colonoscopy into....

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

A GIANT BLACK HOLE!!!!!!

OHHHH the Humanity of it all.... It seemed there was no escaping this swirling Funnel of emptiness.... UNTIL!!!!....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

The Colonoscopy was hit by a foreign object. It seems that the "balck hole" was actually the anus of a giant space creature! The colonoscopy went to work extracting the object from the giant's rectum, when Baco was surprised to see that the object was........

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

a giant glass bottle. Safely removing it

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

he promptly began sniffing and licking the bottle until...

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

it slipped from his grasp, fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Crestfallen and stunned Baco reached for his...

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

left-handed smoke shifter to sweep up the tiny fragments of his collectors item

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

...into a brown paper bag also filled with strange tiny pebbles he found....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

in between Nooch's ears. The giant let out a sigh of relief and proceeded to pass gas. The force of the cosmic fart blew Baco and The Colonoscopy deep into the Ford Galaxy and into orbit around the planet Feather Boa where he spotted his arch enemy Nooch dressed in drag and stroking his own......

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....furry little chin contemplating on how to get rid of this gas issue for once and for all.

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

Meanwhile back in the Milky Way...... Wetzny had a revelation.....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

He could use Dirge to counter act the massive giant's fart.
(You know, fight fire with fire, or fart with fart), his power can not be equaled.)

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

So he fed Dirge large quantities of cabbage, peanut butter and....

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

mushrooms along with....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

Exlax for a smooth delivery. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye, he saw the entire Galactic Anal Alliance fleet on his radar screen! He promptly grabbed his........

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

1.21 Jiggawatt anti-Galactic Anal Alliance fire-breathing, flaming-flatulence, firing combination light pen, pointing it...

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

wrote nasty graffiti on the sides of their ships. When the Analtonians discovered this brash insult, they..........

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

.....obviously sh!t themselves.

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

Now from mother earth.....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

people pulled out their umbrellas to shield themselves from the rain of turds, unfortunately..........

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

...meteor hot turds donot mix well with poly umbrellas, leaving all who were outside up to their necks in....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

melted plastic. but that was the least of their concerns as Dirged fired off.............

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

poop. Millions perished, but the few who remained declared war on the Analtonians. A task force was developed to.........

[waltersw15]

determine what effects this had on global warming, and whether there was any other effects on the environment. Al Gore immediately determined...

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

Yes it devistated the planet and reparations were now needed. FEMA was called in and then...................

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

Al Gore, fearing that he would be scrutinized by any study focused on global warming, immediately fuled his 3 SUV's and drove them to the airport where his private plane was waiting. He flew up to the Analtonian mother-ship and sought assylum with them. When Jessie Jackson found out, he...........

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Decided to join AL gore on the Analtonian ship... but as he was headed towards the ship the Analtonians mistaked Jackson for a Big Sh!t missile.. and destroyed him with a blast from their TP-Laser cannon. Of course Al Sharpton... Seeing what just happed to his Sh!t stirring partner decided too....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

join the KKK. After donning a white sheet to cover his identity, he became a beloved member, and eventually was elected Grand Dragon. One night, during a cross burning, Jessie Jackson (who was thought to have been killed by the Analtonians) appeared with his NAACP lawyer and sued the Grand Dragon, unaware that it was in fact Rev. Al. When they entered the courtroom, the judge comanded Al to take off his mask revealing...........

[waltersw15]

that he was really OJ Simpson. He was trying to convince the KKK that they should kill white people. He demonstrated this by...

[LA_MERC_Shadow]

raping and then killing Jessica Simpson on international TV. He immediatley denied it and....

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

showed pictures of Michael Jackson, and arguing that black people can be white too. Because of the public humiliation of the KKK appointing a black man to Grand Dragon, and unwilling to cause any more media excitement, they turned OJ over to the Analtonians who in turn............

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Gave him what he should have gotten after the first trial... A good Anal Probing... So the world was happy... OJ finally got what he deserved....

Meanwhile back on the Planet Earth... there was still a Sh!t Storm brewing over the...

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....fact that Wetzny was shooting harmless mammals for his enjoyment. This caused a ripple in the space time continuum that also caused.....

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

Drax's testicles to finally drop...........

[LA_MERC_th33_r00k]

....and a few coarse hairs sprouted off his....

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Nappy Head.... and now the truth can be told... Drax was really a part of the Rutgers basketball team.

[Chi_Townz]

This isn't the end of course because Andy got caught diving in occupied territory while...

[waltersw15]

trying to claymore and underwater flag. However, he was unsuccessful because...

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Friendly fire was on, so he blew his dumb a$$ up.... he will be sadly missed...

[waltersw15]

but, Fragfood came along and revived him only to be blown up by the second claymore that he put down. In the end he learned...

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

1- always punish for a team kill no matter what. Even if was unintentional.
2- You cant revive underwater, so Andys still dead.

and last but not least......

[Big_ch33se]

all of you smacktards with anal fetishes need to chill out and start a new story that isn't so freakishly G4Y! :stick :stick :stick :stick :stick :stick :stick
Sticks to all you f00ls!

[waltersw15]

all of you smacktards with anal fetishes need to chill out and start a new story that isn't so freakishly G4Y!

What do you mean? Mainly the topics were about space, so I was talking about black holes. Maybe you have the fetish if you read it that way ;)


and to continue the story:

he learned that you can avoid getting killed in the water if you play Warlord. Meanwhile, back at cheeser's house, he was packing fudge for his friend's...

[LA_MERC_Bacowrath]

two headed cat that was furry, yet attractive. Meanwhile on isle 9 of the Quickie-Mart........