LA_MERC_sexy_dragon
March 15th, 2007, 07:19 AM
Request for a salary increase
I, the peni$, have never received a raise. I hereby request a raise
in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
Sincerely, the Peni$
Dear Peni$,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work
period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing
the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65. (There ARE exceptions
here).
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
I, the peni$, have never received a raise. I hereby request a raise
in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
Sincerely, the Peni$
Dear Peni$,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work
period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing
the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65. (There ARE exceptions
here).
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management