LA_MERC_eX1|eS' ch1|d
February 22nd, 2007, 07:40 PM
I had a pretty good day at work and got done early so I thought I'd see if I could get my vet aviater badge. Found a server on Oman and I loaded up. I spawned as a MEC and sawthat the SU34 was up and waiting for me. Boy I knew I had my vet badge like it wasn't no thang!
So I hop in and I notice a friendly APC sitting on the tarmac on the other landing strip. I went through a brief flight overview, checked my rudders, then wing flaps, and the engine was purring like one of BS's women. I started to roll out and my teammate in the APC pulls into my lane so I try to miss him. Well apparently FF is off so I kinda bounced off him into the UAV trailer and I go up in a pillar of flame.
When I respawn in he is still sitting on the tarmac and typed in "LOL" About this time dragon is trying to team up with me for maximum pwnage and I shoot him the ip. I got into the pilot seat again and he rolled off the tarmac and I got clearance from the control tower. So I spool up and proceed down th erunway and he pulls in front of me again. AWell this time I get by him sorta and I made it to the wild blue yonder. That's when I noticed that I TKed him AND he punished me. I got a couple kills before an F35 shot me down.
Dragon had joined the game by now and we were planning on tag teamin any and all nubs from America. That's right baby, all night long. We got in the SU34 again and see the APC in the other flight lane. I started to roll and he drove into my lane so I stopped. We played a little chicken until he backed off a good bit and I got under way again. Oh yeah I gooled that fool.
All of the sudden BLAM! LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d teamkills douchebag AND douchebag punishes me again. Me and Dragon had a boogey on our tail almost from the time we took off and I hit a little baby mountain while I was flying backwards.
Soooo... we respawn again with douchebag still sitting on the tarmac waiting to funk people because his mom said he couldn't have any pudding because he didn't eat his meat.
Did I mention FF was off so I couldn't even kill the douchebag the way I wanted to. Dragon hit him with 2 or 3 laser guided missles I shot him repeatedly with my ERYX all to no avail.
Back to the respawn after I hit that little baby mountian. Maybe it was more like a hill. Anyway we start to play chicken again and I almost got by him because I bounced off him into the UAV trailer but somehow I didn't die and got off the ground. Can you guess what I saw on the screen? Here's a hint, LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d teamkills douchebag AND he punishes me. Then a new line shows up. Kicking LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d for 3 TK's. I yell to dragon to jump in the pilots seat because a douchebag funked up my complete pwnz0ration of that server.
I sulked for a few minutes before I joined another server, too angry to rejoin. I get on a server playing 32 player Dragon Valley. I didn't even know Dragon Valley HAD a 32 player version until today. I spawn in and get into the China chopper with some nub.(It will make sense as the story progresses) So I'm flying and nub is the gunner. We go forth and see a blackhawk. Nub fires a missle. Nub misses. Nub switches to guns. Nub misses. I see the attack chopper dead ahead and spot it out. Nub is still missing the blackhawk. Nub finally sees the attack chopper and fires a missle. Nub misses.(I'll cut Nub a little slack because on that map it's hard to see your crosshairs for the missle) They missle us. We die. We respawn.
This time Nub pilots and I'm the gunner. We get up over Woodyard and I spoot the attack chopper to our left. Nub circles left to shoot missles at infantry and we take some fire from the attack chopper that puts us in the red. I spot the chopper again and he runs away back towards our base. I spot the chopper again but Nub doesn't veer from his path of death. The attak chopper missles us. We respawn.
Someone else has spoted the attack chopper coming to our main probably trying to take us out on the pad. Nub is not afraid for nub bravelykeeps plodding his course straight up. I spotted the chopper about 200 meters to our left. Nub never bats an eye, sticking to his guns. We get missled. We respawn.
I typed, "seriously, give up."
Lets hear your crazy Tales from the Battlefield.
BTW this has made me want to make a BF2 film about Nub and douchebag like him.
So I hop in and I notice a friendly APC sitting on the tarmac on the other landing strip. I went through a brief flight overview, checked my rudders, then wing flaps, and the engine was purring like one of BS's women. I started to roll out and my teammate in the APC pulls into my lane so I try to miss him. Well apparently FF is off so I kinda bounced off him into the UAV trailer and I go up in a pillar of flame.
When I respawn in he is still sitting on the tarmac and typed in "LOL" About this time dragon is trying to team up with me for maximum pwnage and I shoot him the ip. I got into the pilot seat again and he rolled off the tarmac and I got clearance from the control tower. So I spool up and proceed down th erunway and he pulls in front of me again. AWell this time I get by him sorta and I made it to the wild blue yonder. That's when I noticed that I TKed him AND he punished me. I got a couple kills before an F35 shot me down.
Dragon had joined the game by now and we were planning on tag teamin any and all nubs from America. That's right baby, all night long. We got in the SU34 again and see the APC in the other flight lane. I started to roll and he drove into my lane so I stopped. We played a little chicken until he backed off a good bit and I got under way again. Oh yeah I gooled that fool.
All of the sudden BLAM! LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d teamkills douchebag AND douchebag punishes me again. Me and Dragon had a boogey on our tail almost from the time we took off and I hit a little baby mountain while I was flying backwards.
Soooo... we respawn again with douchebag still sitting on the tarmac waiting to funk people because his mom said he couldn't have any pudding because he didn't eat his meat.
Did I mention FF was off so I couldn't even kill the douchebag the way I wanted to. Dragon hit him with 2 or 3 laser guided missles I shot him repeatedly with my ERYX all to no avail.
Back to the respawn after I hit that little baby mountian. Maybe it was more like a hill. Anyway we start to play chicken again and I almost got by him because I bounced off him into the UAV trailer but somehow I didn't die and got off the ground. Can you guess what I saw on the screen? Here's a hint, LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d teamkills douchebag AND he punishes me. Then a new line shows up. Kicking LA_MERC_eX1|es_ch1|d for 3 TK's. I yell to dragon to jump in the pilots seat because a douchebag funked up my complete pwnz0ration of that server.
I sulked for a few minutes before I joined another server, too angry to rejoin. I get on a server playing 32 player Dragon Valley. I didn't even know Dragon Valley HAD a 32 player version until today. I spawn in and get into the China chopper with some nub.(It will make sense as the story progresses) So I'm flying and nub is the gunner. We go forth and see a blackhawk. Nub fires a missle. Nub misses. Nub switches to guns. Nub misses. I see the attack chopper dead ahead and spot it out. Nub is still missing the blackhawk. Nub finally sees the attack chopper and fires a missle. Nub misses.(I'll cut Nub a little slack because on that map it's hard to see your crosshairs for the missle) They missle us. We die. We respawn.
This time Nub pilots and I'm the gunner. We get up over Woodyard and I spoot the attack chopper to our left. Nub circles left to shoot missles at infantry and we take some fire from the attack chopper that puts us in the red. I spot the chopper again and he runs away back towards our base. I spot the chopper again but Nub doesn't veer from his path of death. The attak chopper missles us. We respawn.
Someone else has spoted the attack chopper coming to our main probably trying to take us out on the pad. Nub is not afraid for nub bravelykeeps plodding his course straight up. I spotted the chopper about 200 meters to our left. Nub never bats an eye, sticking to his guns. We get missled. We respawn.
I typed, "seriously, give up."
Lets hear your crazy Tales from the Battlefield.
BTW this has made me want to make a BF2 film about Nub and douchebag like him.