this is andy when he gets old

[LA_MERC_johncst]

Subject: Health Problem


EAR PROBLEMS

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have
to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is very
embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who
insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other
patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way
this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the
desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor
for today??"

"There's something wrong with my ****", he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this
room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor
in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full
strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The
Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??" "There's something wrong
with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??" "I can't piss out of
it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're gonna
lose!

[Chi_Townz]

LOL, so true!

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

LMFAO, so true. You better have thick skin around me. I'm going to tell you like it is. I get that from my Mom. Ma Tubbs was a straight shooter and one of the most fun and down to earth women to ever bless this earth (God rest her soul). She taught me right and wrong (or at leaast tried) and beat the crap out of me when I did wrong. Which was a lot. And she wasn't a woman that slapped. She balled up a fist and laid a knot on you. I remeber the one and only time I told her NO!. I got one hell of a bloddy lip. Ever since it was YES Ma'am. She also stressed that "Don't sweat the small **** and life is nothing but a bunch of small ****". So I can definatley see me in the doctors office later in life but I actually think I would phrase it like this. "Doc, help it's an emergengy, my **** is broke"

[Rollout]

As one of our friends at Quincy puts it, "Andy has no internal dialog, if he thinks it, he says it!!!!" too funny around women!!! Open moth, insert leg:)

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

As one of our friends at Quincy puts it, "Andy has no internal dialog, if he thinks it, he says it!!!!" too funny around women!!! Open moth, insert leg:)

Yeah, I'm fun at parties, but I'm one hell of a liability any where else, hehehehehehehehehe.

Also, Rollout. I do believe it was you that told the Corporate President of our entire global company Enpro when asked why do you come to work, that, AND I QUOTE "I'm just here for the paycheck"

[LA_MERC_Wetzny]

Yeah, I'm fun at parties, but I'm one hell of a liability any where else, hehehehehehehehehe.

Also, Rollout. I do believe it was you that told the Corporate President of our entire global company Enpro when asked why do you come to work, that, AND I QUOTE "I'm just here for the paycheck"


LOL! Hope that RESUME is razor sharp Rollout...



Speaking of foot-in-mouth disease. I’ve sampled the toe-jam a little myself, I’m sure you’re all shocked by that.

My college roommate announces he’s getting married, right? He’s been single like me into his thirties. So it’s a little shocking to hear Chad’s pulling the ripcord and taking the plunge. Particularly considering the woman he’s going to marry was only recently involved with another college friend of ours; a notorious MAN WH0RE.

So I calculate that Chad and Laura have been seeing each other for less than 50 days when they announce a wedding to take place in less than 90. We know there’s no “need” to hurry, they’re just in love. We gather at a mutual friends home to have an impromptu dinner/shower, and someone suggests a toast. Being the obvious choice for best man, all eyes fell to me. I stood in front of twenty-five or so of my closest friends and said “Here’s to Chad and Laura, may your marriage last longer than your engagement”. The silence was only broken by the sound of my date (Marietta) slapping me on the shoulder, and me crying out “ What !!??! I’m serious!” Needless to say, I didn’t get the best man gig. To this day (This was 10 years ago, Chad and Laura our are closest friends) Laura never lets me forget my horrible toast. And the fact she DEMANDED my removal as best man and installation as a lowly usher.

One time on the 10th tee box an older gentleman joins a couple of friends and me; he just wants to play the back, we’re making the turn. My group hits our tee shots and the old timer, spanks one down the middle maybe 210, now we’ve enjoyed a couple of cold ones and of course in my friendly nature I start in on the old guy. I notice he’s got a little limp and a couple of nice scars running from his ankles to above his knee’s, well we get to the green, giggling I pop off with “what the hell happened to you, Shark attack?” My friends freeze in horror at my totally insensitive remark, the old timer reaches into the cup to retrieve his Titleist and replies, “As a matter of fact no, those are the scars from my recent quadruple by-pass, which I needed after I’d wrapped a nine iron around a guy’s face the last time I played golf here.” OPPS!! Man was I embarrassed…. for about a minute!

Make no bones about it, I’m an equal opportunity offender!