Dear Tech Support

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a

lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed

itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system

activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting

and Fishing 7.5, Farting 99.9, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife

1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall

doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!



Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING) ___________________________________





REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:



This is a very common problem that men complain about.



Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is

just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING

SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also

impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is

impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once

installed.



You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not

allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child

Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I

suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate

software augmentation.



The best course of action is to enter the command C:\ APOLOGIZE because

ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system

will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,

Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.



However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will

cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens,

the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase

additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT , under any circumstances, install Secretary With

Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will

cause irreversible damage to the operating system.



Best of luck,

Tech Support

[LA_MERC_BS]

hahahahaha, man aint that tha damn truth

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

What happens if Wife 1.0 installs its' own upgrade? Say a 3rd party software like Her Best Friend From College 2.0? Is it possible to maintain stability?

[LA_MERC_M@lACHi]

What happens if Wife 1.0 installs its' own upgrade? Say a 3rd party software like Her Best Friend From College 2.0? Is it possible to maintain stability?

Hrrmmm....so true so true. While the wife's best friend is not in college, she is of that age and looks damn good!

Yellowdog....if you read this....please share the details.

[Wyrm_f00d]

I am preparing for that upgrade. Any suggestions for preperation/ upgrade path? Are their any other program that might be needed for this upgrade?

[LA_MERC_goose]

Once you upgrade, you might not notice much of a difference. However, after you've been running said program for several months and into the years you will come to realize that Wife 1.0 has one hell of a cache - it forgets very little and will not let you get into certain programs or files if that cache is full. Unfortunately there is not a 'empty cache' function. The best thing to do is to gradually reduce the cache with programs such as the Gifts 9.9, Flowers 2.1 and Friday Night's On the Town 6.5

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

I would advise a virus protection against the "I Don't Care if you go out with your friends 3.3" trojan.

[SnAkEbItE]

Also you might want to run some spyware removal 4.5 if you hear or see phrase "Nothing is the matter". That is a sign that your infected big time and a crash is headed your way.