OFFICAL THREAD: Tales From The LAN

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Post your best/favorite story from the LAN. I can see this being a LOOOOOONG thread.

Widow and I got in on Wednesday night and took it easy. Thursday however was a diffrent animal. She started the day in typical vampire fashion by sleeping through most of the daylight. I took the oportunity to head down to The Quarter and get myself a nice fresh tattoo (pics soon). After that, I gave Dirge a call and we decided to hook up for a few drinks around 9pm.

Widow, Dirge, Andy, Spark and I hit a few pubs and proceeded to get quite intoxicated. After 2 pubs and a still unknow quantity of alcohol, Andy fed me something called a "Lucky Dog" off a street vendor who cart was just this side of a traqsient's shopping cart. That was a damn good hotdog though.

It's now 1am and "The Boys" are tired and need their beauty sleep. Robyn however is in full party mode and itching to experience a strip club for the first time....I'll let her finish the rest of the story. :D

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

DAMN - sounds like y'all had a blast. I so wish I could have made it this year.

I'm looking forward to all the stories, AND pics that will be coming!

[HENK]

woohooo,
i really like you tattoo cfh ,thats actually something i would get .good work done to your skin even though i never heared of trhat store.at this pionnt im still drawing on my next one ,hope iu will be done soon !!!

[HENK]

and by the way this is my 100 thread,weeee

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

wow the stories...
lets see, the first one has to be a ff accident, i was tracking a guy scoped and as i shot, a head poped in there...:headshot...thats right a 450 dmg h/s of my teamate...Andy, he screams wtf!!
I simpley stated oops..I had the guy but your face got in the way"
it was the truth, but they just got the biggest kick out of that, and I also provided backup to Toby...unfortunately he was in a jumping pistol fight..good news I got the bad guy, bad news the mp5 sprays in full auto....:mp5: :jk2

[LA_MERC_Drifter]

OMG Diesel that was you that killed me!!!! It was on team jungle and I thought i was finally going to get that awp ***** and somebody had to go and shoot me and him....roflmao..... that was great!!!!!!!

[LA_MERC_Drifter]

Lets see... there are so many things that happened but one of my favorite ones was watching Diesel, Dirge, Yankee, Shadow, and Andy play a free for all in Batte for Middle Earth. It had been going on for quite a while and they had all leveled up their heroes pretty high. Dirge (playing Isengard) had gotten his Balrock (spelling) and was doing a fair amount of damage to Andy and Diesel when Diesel (playing Gondor) puts the army of the dead into action and what do you know Dirge's Balrock can't even get out of the ground any more! (lmao just typing this) Well after about the third time that Diesel stuffs the Balrock back into the box Dirge gets all pissed off and chunks his mouse (that looks like a red ufo in warp speed ) all the way across the room cussing Diesel and his dead army for everything they are worth. Gets up and leaves for awhile then comes back like 30 min later and starts kickin butt again... omg that was hilarious!!!!

[LA_MERC_Temp]

i dont think anybody can beat my double nade kill of my own teamates while ff was on, thats was crazy

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

i dont think anybody can beat my double nade kill of my own teamates while ff was on, thats was crazy

Yeah, that was ridiculous.

[LA_MERC_Andyconda]

My post was too big so I started a thread called story time and attached a word document. If one of you leet web guys can switch it here that would be great. I tell a few in that one.

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

My post was too big so I started a thread called story time and attached a word document. If one of you leet web guys can switch it here that would be great. I tell a few in that one.

Your wish has been granted------

NOLA LAN 2005
I knew it would be a time, but to this magnitude I never saw it coming. It started out very normal that Thursday morning. Got my cup of coffee and headed off to work with my computer and luggage already loaded from the night before. It was hard to sit still Thursday. Work seemed to last forever, but eventually the horn went off and away I went. I had to circle back to the house as I had forgot to load up Sparks home made kaluha I made around Christmas time where I maxed out my distillery. I’m guessing by the taste I got his batch up to around 150 proof. Made it into New Orleans around 8:30 at Robby’s house.

We unpacked, updated halflife (or so we thought), and headed downtown to meet CFH, Widow, and Spark for a night out on Bourbon Street. We met up at an Irish pub and started the heavy drinking from there. Well on second thought, I started at Robby’s house because as I walked through the door he was pulling me a fresh cold one from the fridge (as good friends do). We drank, told stories, and headed to Pat O’Briens. I told CFH and Widow that Hurricanes were the drink of choice. CFH brought me some Hurricanes but I later found out I was the only one putting those strong drinks away. It hit me hard the next morning. I asked Robby. Did you get the number of that truck. His reply was what are you talking about. I said, the one that ran me over last night.

I pulled myself together awoke Spark and Dirge and we cleaned up and headed to the Hotel to start setting up. Upon arriving I found that Diesel had beat us there and he had already gotten a complaint for being to loud. I luaughed as I knew that Diesel is one of the quieter Merc that would be attend said LAN. Setup went as all first day LAN do. Problem galor. But in no time we were firing away, screaming at each other, and having fun.

Friday started as I thought it would. Drinking heavy and gaming hard. Later into the night I realized that Spark and Yankee were getting carried away. I also realized that out end of the room was starting to smell like Bourbon street. I took a brief stroll of the area and quickly found out that Spark had finished off an entire bottle of Scotch and Yankee had polished off an entire bottle of Jack. I was downing beer, Daquiries, and homemade Kahlua. Dirge was doing the same. Spark was guzzling my Kahlua. At this point I realized we were all really really blitzed.

The friendly fire no longer was so friendly. Spark a.k.a “The Preacher” was giving us the 3rd degree about everything. Profanity flowed easily from the mouth. Soft Nerf Objects hurled through the air like fireworks at a 4th of July party. I recall Diesel blowing my head off one round. I then realized he was on my team. I yell to him to see what the hell he was thinking. His reply was subtle yet informative. He says to me in a soft demeanor. “I was shooting the enemy and your head got in the way”.

A few hours os Source go by and we decide to try some RTS. We load up Lord of the Ring, Battle for middle earth. We know that myself, Diesel, and Dirge are the only seasoned players, so we decide to play a free for all. After a couple of hours the game went south. You would not have realized we were good friends as we screamed at each other for the thoughtless actions of gameplay. I look back and laugh so hard realizing the level to which we played. Well at 3 that morning Dirge turns to me to say he’s gonna crash, he’s going back to the house for a little sleep. Being semi-mature I say OK.

Yankee then proceeds to scald me like a red headed step child that stole something. It doesn’t take much and I agree to stay and play and keep drinking. I don’t even recall what game we played or what happened from then until 6:30 in the morning when we decided to try and sleep a little. Reed and I apparently stole some couches from the hotel lobby and assembly a very small make shift bed barely big enough to fit a small child. I’m told there is a very lovely picture of he and I “spooning” on the couch. Toby recalls hearing Reed say “These power chords are sticking me in the back” and then a reply of “That’s not a power chord sweetheart”.

When the laughing settled down and just as we we’re starting to dose off, CLANK, CLANK, CLANK, here comes the cleaning lady cleaning up the mess. It sounded like we drank 1000 bottles as she made noise for an hour before leaving. I’m glad she did though because late that night I hurled through the air like the General Lee on a good episode of The Dukes of Hazard from stepping on Sparks empty bottle of Scotch that was placed on the ground like a good little Vietnamese gook booby trap. Next thing I recall is Sweetgirl getting a tour of the room at 9 that morning. So I got up and the play started all over again. That’s right, Yankee, Spark, Diesel and me got 2 and a half hours sleep.

We gamed it up though. We had some fierce games of Source, EVEN 1.6, HL2 Deathmatch, and above all some Battle Field Vietnam. Some quick out takes of that are as follows:
At one point I was chasing Shadow in a Mig25, He was in a Mirage, My Buddy Dirge is in an F-4 phantom and he’s got my wing. Suddenly I explode into a furious fire ball. The screen reads “Andyconda has been F-4’d by Dirge. I hit Robby in the arm and scream what are you doing. He hits me back and says I shot at DJ, but I don’t understand why it went after you. I proceed to inform him that the missiles he fired were “HEAT SEEKERS, not ENEMY SEEKERS” At another point I’m crawling up a hill at Darren. He’s on Foot and I’m in a tank. I win Right. WRONG. As I was seeing double I could not gun him down, he ran around the tank like 4 times taking pot shots at me and jumping around like a damn hot potato. For some reason I thought well I’ll just jump out and shoot him. I jump out, he jumps in. Andy Dies. Doh, Stupid brain.

Another good one was driving Toby around in the mobile howitzer and him shooting someone right in front of us and literally blowing the guy against the front of the tank, KABOOM. Also, Dirge and I were flying around in a cobra when Onji gets in the AA and fills us full of holes. The helo is hurt but barely flying. I can’t keep it air born. I try to land on the home pad to heal but can’t quite make it. I scream to Robby get out get out get out, we bail the cobra hits the ground does a barrel roll and land upright still in one piece, I yell GET IN GET IN GET IN. and away we went. Hehehehe.

Later that night Toby and Darren come in with Very large Daiquiris of 190 Octane with an extra shot. I tell everyone that if they have any technical issues we need to address them within the next 20 minuets as Tech Support is about to go Offline.

Sunday morning we start the Crawfish Boil. This is my favorite story from the weekend. Somewhere in the mist of this Dirge explains that he has a 22 rifle with sub sonic bullets. He explains that we won’t hear the firing pin smashing down, the explosion of gun powder, or the sound of the bullet as it travels through the air. Being a very inquisitive person, I say I would love to see that. Dirge grabs his gun, takes a beed on the back fence and KABOOM a shot is fired. Diesel quickly replies that is some loud ass wood, as we have heard a gun blast the one would expect to hear from a gun of that caliber. At the end of it all was a great time.

I really enjoyed seeing everyone again and meeting the new ones. Even when Samantha chased me under the table and I inadvertently unplugged a few cat5 cables, everyone seemed to be having fun.

Note to remember for the next one.

1.)Bring pillows and blankets.
2.)Clarify that there will be broadband.
3.)Keep homemade Kahlua away from James.
4.)Don’t let Nutria or Texan near the private parts,
5.)Remind Dirge about ENEMY seeking rockets and how they don’t exsist.
6.)Make Robby show you his Quiet sub sonic 22,
7.)Be on the look out for Sparks bottle booby traps,
8.)And above all UPDATE ALL GAMES BEFORE COMING.

What a great time, I can’t wait to do it again.

***formatted for easy reading

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

Here's a couple of pics. Not really sure why Andy was laying on the floor....

[LA_MERC_Drax]

I dunno what time yall crashed out sat night, but when i came back in, i remember seeing(remember being the keyword here) toby(who caught me as i jumped of a fence), spark, widow, henk, and its going blurry....i was hammered as hell at this point. We stayed up BSing for along time, i know i wanted to keep going out, but me and widow were the only two wanting to hit the quarter....and i believe i was gonna designate myself to drive....good thing that didn't pan out. Ah, the true joy i had a of waking reed up every 30 mins with the flash light on my keychain. He had some choice words...4 letters, and i thought you had a better vocab than that yankee. Drank some of andys home made brew, it wasn't that bad girls...yall just can't handle your booze ;)

The crawfish boil was fun, played some horse shoes, lost everygame. Spark n yankee, wheres those 2 pics from the crawfish boil!?!?

[LA_MERC_Yankee]

The crawfish boil was fun, played some horse shoes, lost everygame. Spark n yankee, wheres those 2 pics from the crawfish boil!?!?

Didn't get one. My camera was dead. I think Dirge has some.

[|Team Moped| Kripto]

I didn't realize that these things were so much fun, Hopefully next time you guys have an open one I can make a trip down.

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

I didn't realize that these things were so much fun, Hopefully next time you guys have an open one I can make a trip down.

These things are drunken dysfuntional family picnics from hell.....UBER GOOD TIMES!!!

[LA_MERC_Shadow]

I know i wanted to keep going out, but me and widow were the only two wanting to hit the quarter....and i believe i was gonna designate myself to drive....good thing that didn't pan out.

Yeah Drax you got back pretty late and REALLY wanted to go to BBC but then you suddenly disappeared onto the floor while we were BSing. You're lucky you woke up when you did otherwise you would've gotten painted. Spark had woken up again.....

Oh, and yall don't forget that Yankee moves at Miller-Lite speed when he's in a hurry. LOL

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Oh, and yall don't forget that Yankee moves at Miller-Lite speed when he's in a hurry. LOL

LMAO!!! Short version...

We were trying to take a picture of the group at the boil. Yankee was the last one we were waiting on. Andy (I think) says hes moving at light speed. I just HAD to add "Yeah, MILLER light speed. :D

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

lmao...so many things, even the ones there missed it...:laugh:

[SweetGirL]

LMAO!!! That's the picture of Andy under the table when I chased him around the room! It was pretty dark in there, and I couldn't see where Andy was hiding....."someone" ratted him out! lol I have several bruises, a scrape on my knee, and carpet burn from chasing him on the floor and tickling him! (My mom even asked me what happened on Sunday morning, and I just couldn't say the words "carpet burn from chasing this guy around on the floor at the LAN". LMBO!!)

Drax even got some ice down the back of his shirt for being the awp "tramp" that he is! Then he started throwing ice and some nerf thingy at the back of my purty head! Meanie!

Lots of good conversation and fun times out by the pool talking with Diesel, Yankee, Andy, Spark, Widow, CFH, Henk, Shadow, Drifter, Diesel...oh, everyone! It was a really good time!

I really appreciate all the work you guys put into that LAN. I'm really sorry that we had to leave so early on Sunday morning and not get to say "good-bye" to everyone or help pack up things; we were traveling so much on Sunday that we needed to get an early start, and I didn't want to disturb anyone at that time. Well, everyone got a hug from me that deserved one. :blue: ~Sam~

[LA_MERC_Drax]

a scrape on my knee, and carpet burn


O someone plz help me out here.... ;)


Drax even got some ice down the back of his shirt for being the awp "tramp" that he is!

Someone had to cool me down, too hawt for my own good :)

[Inferno]

too hawt for my own good :)
Yeah so I've heard!!!

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Someone had to cool me down, too hawt for my own good :)

Coulda used a tire pressure gauge to let some of that hot air out of that inflated ego of your too. ;)

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

OUCH!!! Draxie just got owned!

[Apocalypse]

hahahahah yes!

[LA_MERC_Spark]

pics on the way.... still in recovery phase.... lol!

[LA_MERC_Spark]

lol! Andy during a map change is the best!

[LA_MERC_Drax]

Coulda used a tire pressure gauge to let some of that hot air out of that inflated ego of your too. ;)

Not cocky, im confident :)

[LA_MERC_Drax]

I love that group picture, spark guarding his jewels....i wonder why ;)

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Not cocky, im confident :)

Those who feel the need to state the distiction tend to be the former and not the latter. :p:

[LA_MERC_Diesel]

omfg..the map change is the best
for those that could not make the lan
the group picture is
(back)drifter, onji, heater, dirge, andyconda, shadow, Dave(the cook), diesel, Op,
(front)yankee, drax, spark, CFH

[LA_MERC_CS Widow]

Observations of a LAN...(part 1) (clears throat)

NEVER tell a German man you thought he was French.

After 4 days together, I still don’t know what these people are like sober and vice-versa.

I can die as quickly gaming in Louisiana as I can in California...even when EVERYONE is hammered.

Spark has an amazing ability to continue standing long after he should have fallen down.

Andy doesn’t remember I was there any time after Thursday, even though he proclaimed, “I love that woman” after fetching him another bottle of booze on Friday.

Hooters was boring as heck, but the strip club was a hoot.

Henk will pretend he doesn’t see me staring at him with fury when he kills me for the 20th time in a row, but the grin on his face gives him away.

If you make Spark laugh hard enough, he’ll pee his pants.

Yankee snores...LOUD

Illegal-Op will sit and listen intently with such a caring face as I babble on, even though I’m pretty sure he hasn’t heard a word I said.

CFH is damn fun...still!

[LA_MERC_CS Widow]

Taken with cell phone

[LA_MERC_Cowboy_From_Hell]

Is it just me or does Andy look like he's in love in the last picture? You might want to explain where your hands are Reid....

[LA_MERC_T4rg3T]

[QUOTE='LA_MERC_CS Widow[s]']Observations of a LAN...(part 1)
Illegal-Op will sit and listen intently with such a caring face as I babble on, even though I’m pretty sure he hasn’t heard a word I said.[QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure that I remember everything. ;)

[LA_MERC_Drax]

And for clarification, that was me telling the world im number one in the second picture...ermmmm ;)

[LA_MERC_CS Widow]

I'm pretty sure that I remember everything. ;)
Hahaha, kewl! I just remember how soothing the look on your face was. I told that much to Scott and he laughed saying it's probably because you didn't know where you were let alone know what I was talking about. Well I'll have to make him eat his words...again. :D