Life changing events

[LA_MERC_Onji]

This is a very cool thread. Someone posed the question 'name one thing that happened in your life that shaped you into the person you are today'

Check it out:

http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/14668

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Wow...sometimes, I think that my childhood was pretty messed up...but reading through some of those, I didn't have it that bad.

[}{y|3ri|)]

Figured i'd share a few key moments in my life with you:

The first memory i have of my childhood is me outside in my backyard in New York. I was fighting off this wasp that was flying around me wtih a stick that i found, i remeber it being cold outside because i was wearing a jacket (which probley saved my life). The wasp retreated into this hole in the fence and i stabed my stick into the hole as hard as i could to give me the final victory blow. I soon found out that this is where the wasp's hive was and met 30 of his friends. I was stung SERVERAL times in the head, but most of the wasp tried to sting me through my jacket. I remeber being rushed to the hospital, but the whole time being proud that i fought each one of them and didnt give up untill my mom ran outside and picked me up. Nice first memory eh?

The Second Time in my life that sticks out the most is all of the traveling that i did in my childhood. So many experences from playing nintendo with russian boys that didnt speak english, to being told to not kick tin cans cause they could be bombs. To standing in tomb of ancient kings. Lots of stories there.

The third moment that sticks out in my life is when i was playing with my friends outside our house in mississippi. I was in 6th grade riding bikes around the neighborhood when i noticed that the neighbors dog, which they never fed or watered, was pestering a little girl for the box of cookies that she wass eating. I noticed that the dog started snarling and i was worried for the little girl who was like in 2nd or 3rd grade. I ran over and picked her up. The moment i picked her up the dog leaped at her and tried to bite her. I held her up as high as i could so the dog couldnt reach her, so naturally the dog decided to bite into me. He bite me overall 3 times and each time held his grasp of me for at least a min. With the dog attached to my leg i stumbled over to a car and placed the girl on top and kicked the dog untill he let me go and i jumped onto the car as well. Every night for 6 weeks i had to listen to the dog howl outside my window because the neighbor wouldnt put the dog down and the police only informed her that she may need to kill the dog. Finnally my mom had the owner come over and watch what she had to do to my leg every morning for 6 weeks (basically stick a large q-tip into my leg where the dog had bitten me, you could see my bone, and swipe and break and scabbing so that the wound could heal up from the bottom.) and she put the dog down. Was another moment in my life that i was proud of my character because i dont think the little girl would have lived if the dog attacked her.

[LA_MERC_CS Widow]

My life altering experiences are pretty much all bad and very depressing so I guess I'll pass.

[SnAkEbItE]

I think that your life depends on what experences you chose to focous on.

Example I'll use my life.

When I was younger, I focoused on the bad or negitive stuff. Such as my dad was never at any of my birthday's growing up because my birthday fell on the open weeknd of deer season and so he was allways at deer camp. This was a real issue for me for a long time.

Now I focous on the great moments in my life. Such as the day I married the woman who has made my life complete and who I love more than anything. I also love to think back to the first moment that I held my son in my arms and knew that I was a dad.

I want to focous on the good things in life and not worry about the bad things. Did they impact me and shape me, sure they did but, I chose not to let them controll my outlook any longer.

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

I guess the single one thing that has shaped the person I am today, is a fairly recent one, and it was my 8 month long battle with Alcohol.

It took over 8 months from the point of realizing that I had a "problem" to finally being able to get it under control. This is my 46th Alcohol free day. Counting the days, and keeping track of them, is how I do it. I just keep realizing, that it's just one more day, and I don't need the crap anymore.

The biggest struggle for me, Is that I don't know how to deal with my old "drinking buddies" - namely my cousin, David and one of my very best friends, Bass. My buddy Bass is a salesman, and is in town about once a week, and I went to his room the other night to hang out, but could only manage to stay about 15 minutes, becasue he was drinking, and I didn't enjoy his company at all. Same goes for my cousin. I was over there Superbowl sunday, and he practically drove me up a wall, and he got WAY wasted that night, to the point that he fell over into the bathtub while taking a whiz, and I had to go help him out. I keep trying to talk to him, as I know he has a problem too, a bigger problem than I had really, because he is up to about a case of beer a night, although he won't admit it (his daughter told me, and I believe her). She says he buys two twelve packs every night on the way home, and there is usually only 2 or three beers left the next morning.

Hopefully, he will come around, but I'm just having hard time being around him lately - my perceptions of people have changed a lot over the last month and a half. Probably, because MY head is clearer, and and I have finally remembered what it was like to not walk around hung over all the time.

Wow - I didn't mean to go on this long.

-j.

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

I struggle with masterbation....lol, well if you consider that a struggle..hehehe

just kidding boys and girls!!!!!

I'm currently going through life changing events....becoming a Christian and more importantly a follower of Jesus (I know some of you don't buy into the Christianity thing and that is perfectly ok with me, that is your choice)......It's really tough giving up things that you have enjoyed over the years. However, what I'm realizing more and more everyday is that I can still do most of the things that I have always done, I just have to do them with a different agenda and purpose.

[|Team Moped| Kripto]

Life changing events? I have you all beat.... I'm dating a Morman!

(sorry... latter day saint)

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

You are dating [uga]Saint??????

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

Kripto, I always thought folks of the LDS faith were discouraged from dating outside of the religion?

[|Team Moped| Kripto]

Eh, depends on how serious you are about some of the really strict rules. If she followed them closely then she would be married and on her 4th kid by now. It sounds worse then it is though. She's not obsessed with the culture, that's where you start getting in the thick of things. I don’t agree with everything they believe in but one thing I admire is their willingness to help the community. For example, My brother's next door neighbor needed to build on to his house. Normally you need to hire a contractor ..etc but someone from the church who was an architect helped with the plans, a bricklayer came and laid the foundation, some other construction guys borrowed a truck and brought in beams and helped build all the walls. My brother and I helped a lot along the way with little things here and there too and it was fun to learn from all of these professionals and see some of the tricks to laying carpet and putting up drywall… I could keep going and going.... they all worked hard to help this guy out and it saved him lots of time and money. Plus it was so rewarding when he finished it.

It's customary to donate 20+ % of your yearly income to the church... which is given to kids going on mission trips and used for community projects and helping out people in need. I can see why my girlfriend joined but thank god she's not super serious about it.

The joke is that if we ever get married I have to stand outside of the temple and we will have to have a live video going inside for me. I wont be able to go to my own wedding!

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

Yeah - Ken Jennings (the Jeopardy guy) is LDS, and donated 20% of his winnings to the Church.

[|Team Moped| Kripto]

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/hardjeopardyq.html

Ken Jennings....he he....

[LA_MERC_BS]

Max I quit drinking about a year ago. When I say quit, I mean I only drink about two or three times a year. My problem wasn't that I had to drink everyday, I had a problem on weekends with knowing when to stop drinking. I would drink till I finally passed out. I think I have passed out in every club in town at one point or another. It was so bad that I would get fighting mad at my buddies for wanting to call it a night and go home. So I just quit all together. Now I'm like you, I'm noticing things now that I didn't see before. Now I can't stand to even go into a bar. I hate the smell of drunks. I still throw a good drunk a few times a year, but only on special occasions. By the way, who made me that jet fuel drink at the last Lan? Man that thing was strong !!!

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

LMAO! Yeah, those "Loaded Cokes" were pretty loaded.

I used to be the "weekend drinker" like you described, but when It started to grow into an everynight thing, I knew I had a problem, and it took a long time to finally make it stop.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. It's nice to hear from folks who have gone through the same thing. Thats the reason, even though I don't THINK I'll ever drink again, I'm still considering going to AA meetings - just to talk to other folks who have been there, and done that, and see how they have delt with things after going sober.

-j

[NoXiOuS]

my life changing event?
the day i decided not to kill myself back in high school.

[Daedelus]

thanks noxious for opening up like that and we are glad your here bro.

yeah i can think of a few memories that stand out in my head i remeber being the good child but getting punished for ( beatings) things my brother would do just to take it out on both of us now it was nothing to push us to death or any thing and now i can look back on it a realize that they just didnt have medications that my mother needed back then.

i remeber the the first time (to clarify) while i was in the service that i shot at and killed another human being and remeber how it change my soul as it felt (very sadly )to say easier each time.
i stuggled alot with it as i didnt what to become a monster of a person. i did try to justify many ways that it was me or them and that they were fighting for there government same as i was for mine. but the cold hard facts that this was another human being with a mother/wife/children that wont be coming back put you in a bad place.
this lead to my drinking problem to try and numb some of the pain. i felt for along time when i was in the mariens i was the well trained machine they whanted(please dont take that wrong i have many good memories in the service) but didnt find peace in my soul until i married my first wife Jen and had our son forest.
i was finally making a change for the best.i lost them in a horrible car accident do to black ice on a cuvey mountain road. i innitially took it as though it was some kind of payback and that my god was unhappy with me or vengfull.
i was wrong and with help of good friiends (one of witch i married)and time (they say time heals all wounds)
iam back to a good happy time in my life and iam at peace with myself. this as bs said above gives the time to reflect on my life and now see all the good things in my life time and all the joy i have seen. it has made all the diffrence.

ok didnt expect it to be so long but felt i had to put it out there.

[LA_MERC_CS Widow]

I think that your life depends on what experiences you chose to focus on.
True, but what is asked for is a life altering experience rather than how you view your overall life. My life altering experiences are bad. I do not say this with any pity for myself because I am very happy with myself. I truly like who I am, but the majority of the experiences that brought me here were horrible. That's a fact. The following don't even begin to scratch the surface:

1. Mother, father and brother...alcoholics
2. I inherited the family affliction of depression from day 1
3. My brother physically abused me and was also incestuous towards me until the age of 37 (my age...he was 40) No, nobody ever tried to help me.
4. After many years of dating idiots, I decided to take my mothers advice and date somebody older. He was 10 years older and also a good friend of my parents. He was thoughtful enough to spare me from a bit of important information. I was only 21 and left facing the perils of finding love with a lifelong case of herpes.
5. My father died of cirrhosis of the liver 6 months before my wedding. His drunken parting words to me before entering the hospital for the final time? "Hey Rob...F@%K YOU."
6. My step-father and I finally learned to like each other (he was an angry, mean, 6'5" cop who never seemed to be off duty) and he stepped in to walk me down the isle. He met me for dinner on my birthday and we talked about the plans. We parted in the parking lot and he died in a head-on collision about 10 minutes later.

There is so much more you'd probably think I made it up. Those experiences definitely changed my life. I also care enough about myself not to take them lightly or diminish the pain it caused. I don't choose to focus on them, but the caliber of the experiences run deep whether I think of it or not. Choosing to put on a happy smile doesn't change the fact that my life was predominantly horrible. But I do stand a little taller at the thought that I am still here.

Widow

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

There are several events in the last couple years that have changed my life forever...and for the better:

1) I came to Tech when I was 17 years old. I had never studied in school before (never had to), but I was quickly learning that not studying and Mech. Engineering weren't getting along well at all. I fought it for almost 3 years when I completely dropped out of school and moved back home. My parents, being the loving sort that they are, charged me rent for living in their home which I paid my getting a job with a network/telecommunications cabling company. I worked HARD at that place (8-12 hours a day of pulling cables through attics that (during the summer in south Louisiana) reached 130+ degrees). One day I realize that the 45 year old man next to me was only getting paid $2 more an hour than I was. He didn't have a degree. I KNEW then that I had to go back to school to finish my degree. So, I quit my job, moved out of my apartment (I figured if I was going to pay rent it would be for my own place...not my parents) and went back to Tech where I reapplied myself, 110%, toward a CIS degree. No, I didn't learn how to study (I would do the assignments, but would never study for tests), but I learned the value of a degree through hard work.

2) A year ago, I was very close to death. I was in a horrible marriage, with a house that I didn't like, a yard that was 3/4 of an acre (and a wife that didn't understand the joys of a riding lawn mower!), a job that brought me no joy at all. On top of that, I was horribly depressed. Several months passed before it dawned on me that nobody was in control of my life but me. I began to change some things. SERIOUS changes in my life. In the last 8 months, I have completely turned around simply by the power of attitude. I control how I feel about certain things. I control how I react to certain things. I control what I choose to dwell on. I control my destiny. With this came the realization that if I wanted positive things to happen in my life, I had to think positive things. I am no longer the pessimist that I used to be. "Life sucks, then you die" is no longer my motto. I choose to let life happen to me...to accept the changes that I want to happen, and to accept the changes that I don't want to happen. It's all about choice.

In all honesty, "The Tao of Pooh" (a really excellent book) helped me realize the feelings and thoughts that I was having were normal. That I was in control. That I choose my destiny. That, by action or inaction, I make my reality daily. I wake up every morning with a smile on my face KNOWING it's going to be a good day...and you know what? It is.

-LT

[Silent_Killer]

i was about 5 and me and my cousin were under the porch and i saw a yellow jackets nest ( i was and still am highly allergic to yellow jackets) i took a stick and went to poke it (by this point i didnt notce that my cousin was rounding the trailer already) and when i pked it about 15 yellow jackets came out and stung me. i remember being rushed to the hospital.

a few weeks after that me and my cousin were jumping on a trampoline and it didnt have the gaurds on the springs. well he jumped into me and we hit the spring and all i remember was having a big hole in the side my face.

that is two messed up sittuations that make u scared of yellow jackets and scared of jumping on a trampoline with no spring cover.

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

scared of jumping on a trampoline with no springs
You don't bounce much on a trampoline with no springs...

[LA_MERC_BS]

OMG man I had no idea that everyone was trying to deal with so much pain in their lives. I am like everyone else here. I too have things that have happened in my life that will forever haunt me. After reading all the post, I have to tell all of you that I am sorry that you have such terrible memories of things that have happened to you in your life. I think I am lucky because over the years I have had to deal with things in my own life that have left me with the “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” attitude. That’s nothing more than a lonely soul’s excuse to hide his own pain and feelings, and ultimately shutting out the people who love him the most. I hate to see good people have so many problems. It’s amazing how you can see someone over a period of time and never know how much pain and misery they have bottled up inside them. I wish there was something that I could say or do to make your pain go away, but there isn’t. I think the last time I felt this bad for someone and their own problems is when Mr. Timbo told me about his family medical problems while we were at a lan party. I think about him from time to time and how this man could soldier on day after day with that much worry in his mind. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.

[LA_MERC_goose]

On the same note as trampolines - there was this one time, at band camp .... oh, wrong story. There was this one time, in high school .... this girl I was dating had a trampoline in her back yard. One night she, her friend, her friend's boyfriend and I were outside and the two girls were sitting on the trampoline and the two guys were jumping - being funny, more or less. We (me and the other guy) happened to jump at the same time and when we got in the air good, I saw a ring of sparks and then made a very loud thud as I hit the ground below. The seams where the springs attach the mat to the rack broke and sent springs flying 6 and 7 houses down - attached to the chainlink fence. Needless to say, we ruined the trapoline.