Another short story

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Ok, let me preface this by saying that this is a VERY gory story, but probably better than the last one that I wrote.

The back story behind this one is that I was helping a friend of mine with some yardwork yesterday and I happened upon a blue and white ice chest. I said to myself, "Wouldn't it be weird if there was some nasty crap in there or something?" So, I build a whole story on what was in there. David and everyone else are real people, but Brian isn't.

www.lamerc.com/uploads/Yardwork.doc

[LA_MERC_MadMAX]

Wow! Good job Scott!

[Slayer]

Great story, LaTech!

[LA_MERC_M@lACHi]

Scott,

The poet in my family (the wife) said this was a well written peace of work. However, she could have done without the part of what was actually found in the cooler. :)

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

Well, as could I, unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything else that would fit into an ice chest. I had thought about making it a "lady of the night" with blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick...but then you wouldn't be able to see that much detail considering the rest of the contents...

Tell her I'm sorry!!!

[LA_MERC_Nutria]

How about one of those really big icechest you take when you go offshore fishing.
Really good story.

[LA_MERC_YellowDog]

Well If your going for shock value, the head of child would do that. depends on how sick you want to get.
Now I would have thought it not a crime at all if it had been his badgering wife that made him a " MADMAN " I think he should survive the neck injury, only then not to be able to talk about how his wife tortured him till the point he killed her with a LEAD PIPE in the STUDY... And his name would be MR. Plumb

[Slayer]

You have a dizzying intellect sir! LoL

[LA_MERC_M@lACHi]

Well, as could I, unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything else that would fit into an ice chest. I had thought about making it a "lady of the night" with blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick...but then you wouldn't be able to see that much detail considering the rest of the contents...

Tell her I'm sorry!!!


LOL! No problem. She blamed me for not warning her. :bigok

[LA_MERC_Sabre]

that's some imagination there scott...lol good story!!!

[LA_MERC_eX1|eS' ch1|d]

A whole lot better on this one Scott, good dialogue and showing us the scene. If you want to talk about it hit me up.

[Silent_Killer]

hey, my names David. thats weird.


o wait tech, who was the killer?\


that was a kool story though.

[LA_MERC_LaTech]

My neighbor's name is David also...it's a pretty popular name, like John or Eric. As for who the killer was, I don't know. He was just this guy that I made up in my head. Actually, the first time I "saw" him, he was all pale looking and had clearly defined veins on his face. Kinda looked like the girl in the Exorcist, to be honest. I couldn't think of how to describe him, so I just gave him messed up hair and a messed up evil grin.

I've changed some of the stuff in the story so it flows better and have changed some of the word choice because, as my sister pointed out, I reuse words a lot. That's changed now and it reads MUCH better, imho.

Thanks for the feedback, guys!