LA_MERC_MadMAX
November 26th, 2004, 09:35 PM
A sign seen on a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
Do not activate with wet hands.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone
in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to
young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the
machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the
machinist.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the
road and stop reading these signs.
In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want.
In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove
all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night
but Sunday.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses
rude ought to see the manager.
In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the
teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all
by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft.
Please use side entrance)
Do not activate with wet hands.
At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone
in a glass container.
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At an Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to
young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the
machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the
machinist.
Billboard on the side of the road: Keep your eyes on the
road and stop reading these signs.
In a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat any place they want.
In a cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here
for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove
all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night
but Sunday.
In a Maine restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses
rude ought to see the manager.
In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the
teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all
by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft.
Please use side entrance)